I want to walk on stilts...naked
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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