Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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