apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
