I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Green mimosas i think yes
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
