dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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