He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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