blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
