This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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