therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Randomize
