I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
