3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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