Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
