Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
