I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
As shirtless as possible
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
