im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
