This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
last night I used snow as a chaser
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
