You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
