At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
