I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
