A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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