so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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