Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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