I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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