that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
