A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
