At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
