My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
