we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
