im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
that's an acceptable place to lick
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
