hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
