Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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