Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
