I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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