they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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