That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
