I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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