I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
