so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
