somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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