how hairy? two words: wookie tits
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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