when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
