my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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