I could have mohawked her pubes.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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