Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
