Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize