Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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