Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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