NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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