in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Actions speak louder than pants.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
