Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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