I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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