We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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